Monica Schools Us On Babyproofing

Last Friday, JK was watching Monica while I grabbed lunch with some friends from work, and he had the pleasure of putting her down for a nap. Naturally, she staged a protest. The funny thing is that Grub protests can now officially be classified as "sit-ins."

Instead of laying in her crib and whining until she falls asleep from fatigue or boredom, now she gets up and practices all her new acrobatic tricks.

As you can see from the photo above, she's also perilously close to the top of the crib when sitting up, so JK decided that it was time to drop the crib mattress.  Of course, I jumped on the chance to make him do 9 million other things in her room such as dismantling the swing, putting a bunch of crap up in the attic and working on babyproofing her room.

We've basically been tackling babyproofing on an as-needed basis.  Partly out of laziness, but mostly because it's annoying.  Apparently, everything in your house can be construed as a hazard.  Literally everything - I'm not exaggerating! Even if we stopped using electricity, eliminating cords and electrical outlets, we would still have furniture, on which she is going to bump her face/head as she begins exploring.  So, unless we empty out our house of everything but ourselves and the baby, it's never going to be perfect.

A friend of mine gave me some really great advice about babyproofing.  She told me that we can take one of two approaches:  either we spend all day every day chasing Monica around the house saying "no" every time she gets near something dangerous, or we relinquish part of our everyday living space and cordon off some baby safe zones throughout the house. For now at least, we're going with the latter approach, and our test run of the baby superyard setup in the living room is working beautifully. 

While I was packing outgrown clothes to put in the attic, and JK was working on the crib, Monica busied herself by cruising around the bedroom and pointing out some still-existing problems areas to us:

Monica says:  Whoooa, open vent!  Daddy, weren't you supposed to install this cover before I was born??  Hmm...I wonder what kind of stuff I can throw down here?

Daddy says:  I can't find this one...I've looked everywhere...

Mommy says:  I just don't understand how you can take seven vents to the garage to paint, and come back with only six.  And, of course this one would be the one that's missing!  A laundry basket barricade will have to suffice for now.

 

Monica says:  Haven't you guys ever heard of baby gates?  Until you get your acts together and buy one, I'll be hanging out in the hallway, taunting the animals and investigating Daddy's smelly gym bag.

Mommy & Daddy say:  We're gate shopping for a stable model that can easily be moved from room to room without dismantling mounted hardware.  Hang tight and enjoy those gym socks.

Monica says:  Outlets!  I hear these are lots of fun!

Mommy says:  Tricked!  Clear covers are already in place, Monica!

After all this cruising around, she collapsed on her quilt to let us know she was ready for an afternoon nap.

Finally, we've decided that we're not really fans of her slamming herself bodily against the rails of her crib when she is staging a nap protest.  Hurting herself is only serving to delay the nap process and require me to go in there and settle her down, so we've installed the crib bumpers.  I have been watching her when she sleeps and I there is no evidence of her getting herself into a dangerous situation.  Plus, now she has something fun and new to occupy her when she first wakes up, and I get a couple extra minutes of sleep :)

Dropping a Nap

While I was pregnant, I signed up for all sorts of baby-related websites:  "What to Expect" informational sites, mommy blogs and forums, coupon grabbers, etc.  My email is now FLOODED on a daily basis with articles, sales, mommy humor, and everything under the sun related to parenting.  Don't get me wrong, I think it's great.  I love reading, I love researching, and I love the fact that technology puts all this information right at my fingertips.  The thing with babies is that they're constantly changing, so there is always something new to learn.  For me, it's like the most complex, evolving project I've ever had the pleasure to work on.  It's incredible.

So there I was, drinking my coffee and checking out the highlights on my weekly email from TheBump, when a topic on the 6 Month Board caught my eye:  "Dropping A Nap." 

Instead, I dropped my phone.

My eyes darted over to the Grub, who was methodically munching away at her own feet.  Then to the clock.  Then to the Grub.  Then back to the clock.  It was 10:30a.m.  Which meant that sometime in the next 20-30 minutes, we were going to settle down for a nap.  Which meant that I could then get a shower.  And with whatever time remained before she woke up, I could prep her lunch, throw in a load of laundry, and maybe even grab a few minutes to myself on the computer.

Therein lies the problem.  I have allowed myself to become comfortable and to expect that certain things can, and will, happen at certain times of the day.

We have finally settled into a loose schedule in our household, and it is working beautifully.  Much of the initial struggle with establishing a routine had a lot to do with Monica's dislike for her crib, so sleeping in general was a mess.  For over four months, there was very little rhyme or reason to our days. 

Thankfully, we've moved past those times, and the past two months have actually had a rhythm.  I almost look like one of those carefree, effortless, put-together moms that you see in magazines.  Ok, maybe that's a bit of a stretch.  But I will venture to say that I'm actually getting good at the whole stay-at-home-mom thing.  I'm not tooting my own horn here, I give full credit to the Grub for being an easy baby.  BUT, I will say that remaining flexible and keeping expectations low have definitely been the keys to success in this ongoing endeavor.  Acknowledging that the routine will happen, it's just not going to happen in an identical fashion every day.  Variables like teething, dirty diapers, and the dog barking at the mailman/neighbor's dog/random kid on bike all have an influence on our daily routine.  

However, even with all those factors, I can generally count on the fact that twice each day, somewhere in the neighborhood of 11am and 4pm, the Grub is going to lie down for a minimum of 45 minutes.  Again, the key is staying flexible and just following her lead when she gets tired.  I don't even try to estimate how long she'll stay asleep; I just go with it and appreciate whatever time she gives me. 

Twice a day.  I need it.  Not once a day.  Twice.  On this, I am not flexible.

One nap?  How do parents do it??  Let's be honest, some days I'm watching the clock, counting down to naptime.   How do you give up that last little piece of freedom that, truthfully, is the one thing that's keeping you going on a rough day?

All of these thoughts raced through my head in less than 15 seconds.  Taking a deep breathe, I figured I might as well start reading.  The online network of experienced moms and dads must have some insight on transitioning (for the baby) and coping (for the parents).  I mentally braced myself, and clicked open the link to start reading the introduction:

     "In general, babies move to two naps around six months of age..."

Move to two naps??  TWO? The three naps per day ship sailed months ago in this household!

I collapsed onto the couch, exhaling loudly in relief, and smacking myself for being such a spazz.  Grub started laughing at me.  Either she thought my antics were for her amusement, or she had already read the article and knew I was getting all worked up for absolutely no reason.

Once I had my wits about me, I immediately started googling dropping down to one nap.  I hate being caught off guard, so I figured I should prepare myself.  My findings are that, on average, toddlers go down to one nap per day between 15 and 18 months of age.

Toddlers!  Yes!  Thank freaking God!

In my head, thinking about the Grub being 15-18 months old is so far away, I might as well be thinking of her high school graduation.  Mentally, I simply can't even touch it. I do know that the time is going to fly, and she'll be toddling, talking, and terrorizing the dog before we know it.  And JK and I will look at each other and say, "How did she get so big so fast?"  We're already doing it now, when we look over and she is crawling around, playing with her toys, and sitting on her own - all before her six month birthday.

It's so true, how everyone says that time flies when your baby is an infant.  Undoubtedly, this is because the changes happen in such quick succession; there is always a new development lurking just around the corner.  And as parents, we're constantly changing and adapting and evolving right there with our babies.  We have to.  Staying flexible is a means of survival.  But for now, I'm going to relax, and enjoy nap time.  Twice a day.  Every day.  At least, until the next round of changes begin.

Two Big S's....

We're having a big week here in the Stasul Household as we have introduced both (a) sleep training, and (b) solid foods. Yes, I must be some sort of glutton for punishment. 

The first four nights of sleep training have gone much better than expected, compared to our first attempt six weeks ago.  In our house "sleep training" translates into getting Monica to sleep in her own room.  Truly, I have no issues with her sleeping in our room for the foreseeable future, as she is only four months old.  The main problem is that she has outgrown the bassinet, and the only other place she has wanted to sleep is in her swing, which she is also rapidly outgrowing.  We have tried the pack n play in the bedroom and she wakes up after four hours, which feels like a regression compared to the glorious eight hours she will sleep in her swing.  Combine this with pressure from more experienced moms to move her into the crib, as well as recently reading this Scary Mommy Post , we're beginning to fear that this kid might be trying to permanently move herself into our bed until she moves out of the house.  And THAT, my friends, is not happening.  

 In attempt to maximize our chances of even placing her in the crib without her screaming till her head explodes, JK  relocated the humidifier, radiator, and night light to her room.  We also set up the remote thermometer so I can check the temperature in her bedroom without going in there (that room has issues - it's always freezing!) as well as her swing, which is only to be used under the most desperate of circumstances.   Yes, our electric bill is off the charts since this baby got here.

I am not a fan of crying babies - mine or anyone else's.  I am not a person who hears a baby cry out in a restaurant and thinks "oh, how cute!"  Rather, I think, "why the hell didn't they leave this kid with a babysitter, I'm trying to eat my meal in peace."  And if you think I'm mean, my husband is much worse.  This may or may not come into play here, but we are not on board with many aspects of the "cry it out" sleep method, nor are we interested in spending entire nights listening to our baby scream her head off while we pace back and forth in the hallway, periodically asking each other what we should try next.

So we devised an extremely loose plan and, god save us, it seems like it might actually be working.  Knock on wood, we've only done this for four nights, but we already seem to be making progress.  It is more or less the same plan we tried six weeks ago, but for reasons unknown, it is now being met with success.  I take Monica up to bed for "snuggle down time"  and nurse her.  She is usually pretty much asleep at this point.  Then I creep over to her crib and put her down.  When we tried this six weeks ago, she would immediately start screaming like a banshee.  Now (for whatever reason - age? trust? I have no idea) she either stays asleep or just cracks open her eyes.  I make sure NOT to make eye contact and skedaddle on out of there as quickly and quietly as possible. 

Then we wait for the inevitable crying/whining, which is guaranteed to ensue... if not immediately, within the next 45 minutes.  This is where JK's part comes in to play.  If the crying/whining becomes actual crying, he goes in and checks her diaper and tries to rock her to settle her down and then put her back in the crib.  It is KEY that I do not go in to her first, otherwise she just wants to nurse, and then I'm stuck in there for an hour.  I only get involved when crying is approaching a hysterical brink of no return; at which point I do nurse her and get her back to sleep and start the process over.

After this, she has been waking once more, but it is just crying out in her sleep.  She goes back to sleep within five minutes without us going in to her.  Again, if she went beyond whining, we would start where JK goes in the room to her to check the diaper and take it from there.  

Per night, two rounds of this whole process where I have to get involved is probably my limit. Things might play out differently if she would take a bottle, but...that is another battle for another day.

So, key learnings thus far:

• DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT - this only wakes up the baby and results in cutesy attempts at engaging in playtime.
• I cannot go in there first - she is much more clingy with me in general and will just try to nurse off and on all night long if I keep going in to her first.
• Recognize the difference between whining/fake crying and real crying.  When she is whining, she is not in distress, just trying to get our attention.

Here's the breakdown on actual sleep time - which is what we're all really interested in here, right?  It's not the method so much as how much sleep we're actually netting!!

Once the Grub actually settles down and is asleep (normally my last time going in there to feed her is around 11:30pm), she is sleeping until about 4:30.  A solid five hours total.  I get up and feed her and then she usually goes back to sleep for another two to three hours.  And, lucky her, 4am just happens to be the WORST hour for me to do ANYTHING, so more often than not she just ends up right back in our bed until we get up for the day.  I try to convince myself that this is as much for her safety as anything else, as we're very much at risk for me falling asleep in the chair and dumping her on the floor if I try to stay in her room and feed her in the rocker.  Therefore, I'm still waking up to this in the morning:

Hopefully over the next couple weeks, I'll be able to draw on some ever-depleting reserves of stamina and try to stay up at 4am until she is back in her crib.  And THEN maybe we can work towards skipping the horrid 4am feeding.

Next post we'll talk solid foods....and when I say "solid" I use the term very loosely.... 

Playing Opossum

My sister, Kim, and I shared a room for our entire lives until we were in our early 20's.   I'm two and a half years older than her and I have no recollection of ever having the room to myself; for me, she was always there. Our room was actually the master bedroom of the house, at the top of its own short staircase.  My parents, most likely, were trying to corral the two of us and our overflowing collection of Barbies, Cabbage Patch Kids, and stuffed animals.  Unfortunately for them, our crap was still everywhere.  Luckily for us, they didn't mind too much :)  They were, and still are, the two most tolerant parents I have ever met.

Anyway, we were in total bliss in our shared bedroom.  Kim and I rarely fought - both as kids and adults - and we're the closest sisters that I know.  As kids, we would spend hours upon hours playing and pretending and dressing up.  Our room was little girl heaven for many years...

Until...enter one demon spawn little brother into the picture when I was about 7 years old and Kim was almost 5.

The first year wasn't a big deal.  We carried on with minimal interruption to our young lives.  Then Jim learned to walk and all hell broke loose.  This little terror just LOVED to come creeping up the stairs to our bedroom and tear through the room Tasmanian devil style.  There really aren't words to describe the phenomenon.  I'm sure that we tried to play with him and he was just a terror. 

That's when we had a genius idea:  we would play opossum!

Our plan:  The second we'd hear him giggling his way up the stairs and scratching at the door like the little animal that he was, we'd immediately jump into our beds, pull up the covers, and close our eyes.  We'd even incorporate a little fake snoring for good measure.  Jim would creep up to us in our beds, stare, give us a few pokes, and, if we were lucky, leave. If we were unlucky, he would start jumping on us and beating us with anything he found on the floor, usually clothes hangers.  But that is a scary story for another day. 

 Fast forward 20-some years

Since about month 2, naps with Monica have been a bit of a trial.  The Grub wants to hang out with mommy ALL DAY LONG.  Playing with mommy, cooking with mommy, running errands with mommy, and...when she's really tired...sleeping ON mommy.  Exhausting for me, to say the least.

Therefore, several times a day when she gets cranky, I take a deep breath and pray that my endeavors at a settling her down for a nap will net me a minimum of one hour to myself.  Really, Monica, one hour is all I ask. Just take a nap for god's sakes!

The Grub does not care for an elaborate routine before sleep, whether it be a nap or bedtime at night.  Of this I am certain.  She wants to play play play, and when she is tired, she immediately wants to nurse and sleep.  So when she is cranky, we head upstairs to "snuggle down" as we call it, and I nurse her and pray that she falls asleep without too much fuss.

In the beginning, I was seeing a lot of this:

The suspicious half-lidded stare.  She's exhausted, but she knows something is up, and if she closes her little eyes, she knows there is a risk of mommy sneaking away, leaving her in a solitary slumber...

OR...and this is even scarier...this:

Smiling, giggling and wiggling, accompanied by coquettish batting of the eyelashes

Then I remembered Kim and I tricking Jim...  I would play opossum with Monica!  If she thinks I'm sleeping, she will go to sleep, too!

And...it's working!

So, now when we snuggle down, I pretend (and trust me, it is not that hard to pretend!) to sleep as well.

Now, when I crack an eyelid open and look at her, I am more likely to see this:

A sleeping angel. 

At this point, I can attempt to ease her into her swing for an actual nap, during which I can sneak away to do (oh joy) chores and whatnot.

Unfortunately, this only lasted about two months, until Grub caught on.  Now she is employing a new tactic:

Her left paw strategically grasps my shirt in a death grip.

Extracting myself has about a 30% probability of her waking up.  On a confident day, I press on and attempt the transition to the swing.  But on a rough day preceded by a sleepless night....well, playing opossum sometimes leads to a little nap of my own, and that isn't so bad at all :)

Monica's Four Month Check-up Stats

Monica had her four month wellness visit today.  She is happy, healthy, and the little grub spent most of the visit giggling and wiggling all over the table.  Naturally, the pediatrician was completely enchanted by her cuteness, and loathe to move on to the crying baby down the hall.  I mean, look how cute she is!

Weight: 14 lbs, 7 oz, 65th percentile
Height: 24 and 3/4" long, 92nd percentile

Milestone updates:  We have a somewhat mobile grub now!  Monica is able to roll both front to back and back to front, and she can pivot a full 360 degrees on her tummy.  She's starting to use a combination of these three techniques to move herself into grabbing range of out of reach toys as well as out of reach parents.  Full baby push-ups - no problem!  She can also stand and support her own weight (with mommy or daddy help for balance) for a couple of minutes at a time without tiring.  She's not yet able to get up onto hands and knees in the crawling position, but she's definitely working in that direction.

Additionally, the pediatrician has said that we can start Monica on solid foods (rice/cereal) now, or we can wait.  I had read that the general recommendation was 6 months to start solids, but the pediatrician said closer to 4 months is not uncommon, especially in babies that are big for their ages.  Her recent nighttime wakings to eat may be an indication that she is ready for some solids in her daily diet.  While always excited at moving on to a new chapter in this baby's life, I'm not sure I'm quite feelin' the mess involved with actual "food," such as even MORE frequent bathing and laundry.  Maybe we'll see how I feel about this next week.... :)

Daily Grub Life:  Monica is extremely interested in her toys.  We spend our days moving between her playmat downstairs, to the high chair in the kitchen, to the play area in her bedroom.  She is able to grab items, move things from one hand to the other, and she's an absolute expert at getting toys into her mouth.

The Sleeping Grub:  Monica is sleeping through the night (8-10 hours), but ONLY in her swing in our bedroom.  Earlier attempts around the three month mark to utilize her crib were met with failure :( However, now that the holidays are over, JK and I are going to fully revisit two dreaded words:  SLEEP TRAINING.
 Stay tuned for updates!!